March 15th, Saying Goodbye

I've spent the last couple of days coping with the reality that my Grammie is quite sick. And I've spent last night saying goodbye to her. I got the call this morning that I should come home, but I couldn't get a flight until tonight arriving tomorrow at noon. They've taken Grammie off of life support (as per her predetermined wishes) and expect that she'll pass away around in a couple of hours from now.

I can't express what my Grammie has meant to me and will always mean to me. I've been so scared over the last 10 or so years that I'd loss her before my wedding, then before she'd hold my child. And now, I've got to say, that I am happy for her but so, so sad.

My Grammie has had a hard life, but never complained. She just worked hard, prayed hard, loved hard and lived with peace. And now, thankfully, she will pass peacefully as well.

During the hardest years of my life, I'd go to church with her then to her house for lunch then for an afternoon of visiting and knitting. We'd talk about everything, from her life to my life and the lives of our family. She was so, so proud of each and every member of our family. Once she told me of her husband, Parker (my grampy) and how much she misses him and how she can't wait to see him again (he passed away when my mom was little and my Grammie was 8 months pregnant with my uncle). It came to a point when Grammie didn't have the wind to stand up and sing, but there was one day that I'll never forget, that she just stood up during one hymn and sang "then sings my soul, my Saviour God to Thee..."

Grammie was living with my mom and Wayne for the past few years. She'd broken her hip three times and walked with a walker, but was quite self sufficient. Every once in a while, she'd get frustrated though and say that her old legs don't carry her very fast. She fell last week and broke her arm and has been in the hospital since. A bladder infection set in and she's been having mini strokes...

Grammie has led the fullest life! She's travelled around the world twice and driven across Canada a couple of times. She's lived to take part in most of her grandchildrens' weddings and has delighted in watching her greatgrandchildren play. Her memory has been spotty and for the longest time, she confused Sam with my cousin's baby Gabe (who is now 3). But this Christmas, the best present that I got was hearing her call to Sammy and telling him what a big name he has to live up to.

A couple of years ago, my Grammie's younger sister and bestfriend pass away. When my mom went into Grammie's room to tell her the news, my Grammie already knew. She'd had a dream. I'm convinced that God told her.

Grammie never missed an oppratunity to say how much she loved us and how proud she was of us. Grammie never missed a recital, a school or church concert, a crisis, a celebration...Grammie lived with no regrets.

So this night I spent saying good bye. I'm convinced that although I can't be there to hold her hand and tell her that I love her, that God is telling her better than I could. I take great joy in the fact that my Grammie will depart from her well worn body and run freely through the pearly gates into the arms of our Heavenly Father. And He will say that she has been a good and faithful servant and say "this is your reward..." and there will be Parker and Auntie Joyce and her other brothers and sisters and her grandson Everett and her Mom and Dad and everyone else who's gone before her who's lives she's touched for Christ. And one day, I will take my place singing praises to Jesus right along side my Grammie.

These aren't my favorite pictures, but they're the ones that I have. As you look at them, please thank God for my Grammie and pray for my family who will miss her so...