Yesterday, March 25th, was my Grammie's funeral. (Visitation was March 24th.) It was as good as time as it could have been. I gave the eulogy...I felt right volunteering for it, because a few times over the years, I'd meditate on my Grammie's life all night and just praise God that I had her in my life. Since many members of my family have asked for copies, I'll post it here as well...
Eulogy for Lilian Irene (Perkins) (Eastwood) Phillips
March 25th, 2008
By Erin (Gill) Dyker
Lilian, first and foremost, has been a humble servant of our Risen Lord and Savior. She’d say that the most important job she ever did was to raise her kids, but the most important thing she did was to trust and obey God and to depend on His strength.
Lilian Irene Perkins was born January 2nd, 1919 to Charles and Caroline Perkins at their homestead in Claredon. As a young girl, around 8 or 10 years old, she’d take the cows to pasture well back of their farm by following the creek and then walk a couple of miles-uphill-to school. After school, she’d walk home-uphill-then follow the creek to bring the cows back to the barn, all with her younger brother trucking along behind her. I once commented at how hard that sounds. Grammie was quick to reply, “Well, I guess I never thought about that, I was just so excited to get to school to learn and to get home to tell my mom!”
Once Lilian finished her schooling, she left her parents’ home and moved down to Welsford to work for a then recent widow. Many of their first days together were spent at the kitchen table crying: Grammie because she missed her mom and the elderly woman because she missed her husband.
And then, in 1939, she married the love of her life, Parker Samuel Eastwood, and became the mother to his daughter. On their farm in Wirral, their family was blessed with seven more children before Parker’s passing. Oh, the memories made from those days on the farm! The stories have been fuel for our laughter at every family gathering, with the stories often ending with Grammie adding with a smile on her face, “Well, I never knew that was going on!”
During that time, on top of the duties of a farmer’s wife and mother, Lilian was the organist at Paterson United Baptist church, crafted the family’s clothes, acted as the neighbourhood barber, peddled meat from their animals and even taught school in Sandy Brook for a year! But the hardest thing she did was to care for her sick husband only to say farewell to him when she was 8 ½ months pregnant. Over the years, she’d marvel at God’s infinite wisdom and grace, because it was in caring for that precious baby that God gave her the strength to carry on. One afternoon about 9 years ago, Grammie shared with me about Parker and how she loves him and misses him dearly and how she wished that she could join him in heaven that very moment. That was the only time, before last week, that I’d ever seen Grammie cry.
God blessed Lilian with love once more and she married Leland Phillips in 1968. Lilian then moved her youngest three children to Tracy to live with Leland and to parent his youngest four children. Without the farm to get into trouble on, the stories from those years aren’t nearly as entertaining, but for my generation, that house in Tracy is the setting for most of our fond and funny memories. Our stories aren’t nearly as funny as our parents’, but, trust me, their stories are very, very hard to top!
Lilian was an active member of this, the Tracy Baptist, church, serving as organist for many, many years. Although she was nervous every Sunday, she served faithfully and even played with a broken leg! Lilian always looked forward to Club 65, enjoying the fellowship at the dinners and wonderful trips. In fact, the last time Grammie was in this church was for a Club 65 dinner and she walked out with a door prize!
After Leland’s passing and with her 12 children grown, Lilian took many trips with her sister, brother, daughter and son-in-law. They drove across Canada twice and traveled to Australia, New Zealand, Fiji, Hawaii and England. But even with all of her time traveling, Grammie found an abundance of time to host Sunday afternoon get-togethers and to sleep-over at her childrens’ homes. It was rare that Grammie ever missed a school or church program or a piano recital featuring one of her more than 40 grandchildren.
When the burden of caring for her house was keeping her from “the action” of enjoying her family, she moved in with her youngest daughter and her son-in-law. Now 86 and with the travel bug still itching, they took many weekend trips to Halifax where we toured Chester, Peggy’s Cove and found our way down to Digby to visit with Grammie’s half sister. But the happiest times in recent years came from sitting back, watching her great grandchildren play and her children and grandchildren laugh (whooping her daughter and son-in-law in daily scrabble games would be a close second!).
Last week, we knew would be Lilian’s last. And it was wonderful! Although tired, Grammie frequently opened her eyes to take in her family. She saw the sorrow. She saw the joy. She heard the laughter and those infamous stories of her children on the farm. She heard the Easter story from each of the Gospels. She heard the hours and hours of hymns we sang every evening (mostly out of tune with burst of laughter between the verses of the really poorly sung songs!). She heard the thank you’s and the well wishes and excitement for her final trip where she would finally be welcomed into the arms of Christ and be reunited with her loved ones. She felt her son’s touch. She heard our final prayer.
We saw peace personified. We saw no fear, no regret, no pain. We saw visions of Lilian free of her well worn body running through the pearly gates into the arms of our Heavenly Father. We could hear Him say, “Well done, my good and faithful servant.” We saw the reunion with Grampy Parker and Auntie Joyce and with the countless people she’d touched for Christ. And we smiled to ourselves as we saw visions of the surprised look on Grammie’s face when she meets Everett and says, “When did you get here?!?”
Lilian left a tremendous legacy of love. We will continue it, and by honouring Christ, we will honor Grammie. We will work hard, we will be compassionately stubborn and disciplined, we will knit, quilt, sew and crochet, we will care and take care of each other. We will raise our children to know Grammie’s Lord and Savior. We will travel and praise Grammie’s Lord for the beauty of His creation. We will continue to learn and to teach. We will laugh because the joy in our hearts overflows. We will praise God with our actions, our words and our thoughts. We will sing and live the hymns that Grammie taught us. We will remember and be thankful for Grammie.
Whenever we’d visit Grammie and it’d be time to part, Grammie would always say, “Oh, do you have to go so soon? Well, I’ll look forward to our next visit.” And that is how we have to look at it today. Nine years ago, when Grammie told me of her anxiousness to leave this world, I cried and prayed that night, all night for just one more day with Grammie. Three more times over the years, once when she fell, once when before my wedding and once before Sam’s birth, I cried and prayed all night for just one more day with Grammie. Last week those prayers were answered. With the doctors and nurses baffled, we had four wonderful ‘extra’ days with Grammie. And when our visit was over, we didn’t want to keep her from her party in heaven. But, my, how we look forward to our next visit with Grammie!
We’re going to sing one of Grammie’s favorite hymns and when you hear the words “blessed assurance, Jesus is mine!” if your heart doesn’t soar with praise and thankfulness, I’d urge you to seriously think about starting a relationship with Jesus today.
Grammie had a very hard life, but if you’re sitting back, reflecting on her life and start wondering how Grammie made it through the painful times, or how she had the strength to raise such an amazing family, just know that whatever question you ask about Grammie’s life, her answer, the answer is always Jesus.
With our daily trips to visit Grammie finished and with the visitation and funeral done, the rest of our trip is focusing on...rest :) (which of course means outside time with Samuel)...
